Holding onto Anger only hinders Growth

This blog piece has rather directly come from my own experiences especially in the past few months, where I have been on both sides of this particular coin. Sparked again from a conversation with a close friend; it is so very clear that in varying degrees I can assure many others around me can relate. I am looking at how we hold onto anger towards situations, outcomes, the world around us, and particularly towards other people. I have been analysing how it affects not only our own self worth, but the way in which we move through life. Barriers created that do not allow the new enter, and quite simply the good to be seen. 

One side of life teaches us to hold on to what we hope for, to what we dream for, and how we envision our lives to turn out. Just as the other side tells us to learn to leat go, to live with openness, and to allow our path to naturally flow. In school, in work, in society, we are taught how to plan, how to create goals, how to dream . The art of moving on and letting go is never really broken down. How to live aligned, and open enough to see what is right in front of you, is really quite unclear. You see quote upon quote on your instagram feed, faff on faff, cheese on cheese, expressing that we must simply let go. That we must so quickly move on. That we should so easily be able to forget.

 But we are not told how. These ideas of living with such liberty to your own thoughts are an ideal, but in all reality are very difficult without understanding how to go about it. And although this seems like a rather vague topic, I believe anger, and in particular the latching onto it, plays an extensive role in dampening growth. Physics very clearly taught us that energy is simply transformed or transferred from one form to another. Anger is a large amount of energy, and holding onto it takes so much of our headspace, and very simply does not allow room for the sun to shine in.

Although sometimes a questionable statement nowadays- we are still HUMAN, and the acts of humanity still affects us in a deeply emotional way. Human nature has an ability to hold onto anger toward other people, even after we have supposedly forgiven or moved on. The same can be said about inward anger towards ourselves. Outwardly we are "over it" and have moved on, yet inwardly we are clinging, and see the situation, person, or outcome in a negative light. In turn, progress and growth is halted, and there is not space or energy to move forward.

Romantic relationships. Can be related to any length of, however my experience is definitely of the more casual sort. HA! Not joking in the slightest...

When a relationship is over, or even when there are fights and arguments, there are different stages of moving on, one of which is feeling angry and having anger toward the situation and/or the other person. Anger can certainly be a relief as it helps with moving on from sadness and hurt. However, it's the lingering type that holds us hostage and prevents new paths being paved.

Similar can be said over friendships. Anger comes about when you only see one point of view, or choose not to take the other into perspective. It comes about when expectation is not met, so you feel let down, and consequently unloved. Rather than focusing inward, being angry shifts the blame onto someone else, and takes away our own accountability. It is not easy to move past anger. It is not comfortable to forgive, to move on, and to choose a new light. Hanging onto anger is excuse to stay stagnant, an excuse to remain in the comfort.

Not that I am saying we ourselves are always to blame! However, we do have a choice in the way we chose to react. Feeling emotion in full is part of the journey, and dealing with this emotion through sadness, hurt, and anger is part of moving forward. It is imperative that we feel the dark a little in order to move back into the light. But, when we move past the sadness, it is easy latch onto the what made us angry, who made us angry, and why they made us feel this way.

CHOICE.

It is holding onto these emotions that will hinder us from moving straight ahead and living as fully deserved. There is only so much time in one day, just as there is only so much room in your life. When we so fiercely cling to what or who brought us into darkness, there cannot possibly be room for the GOOD and the LIGHT to come in. This is holding onto anger past its used by date. A reason to latch onto what we are not ready to let go of, a way to use self pity as a comfort blanket. 

We are under ever right to allow this emotion to bring ourselves out of sadness, and to feel power over the hurt again. It is human to find the strength to be angry instead of upset in order to deal with pain. And it is important to outwardly express how something or someone made you feel. But, holding on for a prolonged period of time without forgiving is only hindering your own growth. It is not hindering the person or situation the anger is directed towards. The choice to let go of this emotion is liberating. It is empowering. It is letting go of expectation and inviting acceptance. It is a very conscious and powerful choice to forgive, to release, and to make space for all of the GOOD to come.