THE UNPLANNED LIFE!

Five years ago I was preparing to move from Canada to London to pursue a dance career where I would be working what seemed like five jobs "on the side", all of which I dreaded going to. Ten years ago I was doing every weekend dance competition that I could fit in whilst maintaining some pretty decent grades at high school. At both of these times, I can assure you that what I am currently doing with my life, and the journey it has been since leaving full time study, was NOT in any way, shape or form what I had in my life vision at both those points. However, does this mean that I am not successful in life? Does this mean I am not living my dream? 

Does it mean that I am living right now, at this moment, with a sense of failure. 

No.

Dreams change. Passions change. Change is life. 

Yes it is widely known that extremely rich and 'successful' people all have/have had, or consistently have, five and ten year life plans. Much respect to everyone who does, I will admit that sometimes I do envy you a little. However, the moment I let go of my five year vision, was the moment I really started to live. It was the moment I started to see what was not right for me, what was not serving me, and what I just did not want in my life anymore. It was also the moment I allowed myself to act a little more impulsively, directly from my gut as opposed to careful calculation as to what I thought I SHOULD do. 

Life takes impulsive hooks, turns, and waves with or without your permission or doing. And yes, it really is about how you react. These sudden changes are not always negative, even if they are perceived to be. They tend to throw you off this five or ten year vision. How natural is it to turn down positive change and options that are deemed as a little too far fetched, too hard, or too uncomfortable, because they are not on your self inflicted life plan? As humans, we naturally respond to this change. We get bored when things stay the same. It is in our nature to shake things up when life is a just a little too predictable. Some people call this self sabotage. I call it instinct.

One of my best friends, recently stated that "Over planning kills magic".  I agree wholeheartedly. Of course there are degrees in which we need to plan, or should plan. HOWEVER, should this not turn out, should it all fall through..where does that leave us? Acting via spontaneity, reacting a little more impulsively, but most importantly, assessing the situation exactly how you FEEL at that time. It's the letting go of what SHOULD be happening, what NEEDS to be happening in order to secure your perceived success in life. It's knowing and accepting that all hell may break loose, but that you are able to be COMFORTABLE in dealing and living should this happen. It's about knowing that when shit hits the fan, and gets right stuck in it, that you are okay and STRONG enough to keep moving. 

My favourite Rumi quote is "Life is a balance of holding on and letting go". Hold on to the things that keep your fire churning. Let go of the expectation and careful calculations. Learn from the misdirections. Address them. Analyse why. Own up to them. ABSORB it all in full.  Then live so passionately in these moments. Channel love and fire into your life as it is right now. This will drive us into the future. If we are only concerned in the importance of life going accordingly to plan, I believe our growth on a spiritual and HUMAN level is hindered. It's this obsession with life panning out the way you envision it that stops us taking risks, following instincts, and making absolutely rash decisions. Rash decisions where we could could end up somewhere beautifully new. An unexpected but beautiful path. Or maybe a hike with the most difficult, but rewarding climb. It seems plans are there to stop us "failing". To stop us fucking up. But do we ever really fail?

Absolutely.

Because fucking up is human. It's beautiful. It's ugly. Just like happiness. Just like life. It's driven by passion. It comes from spontaneous and instinctual reactions when things just DON'T pan out.  What comes from acting impulsively in order to deal with those curveballs thrown at us?  What happens when life no longer follows that carefully articulated and perfected five or ten year plan?

You. Living with fierce passion. Fierce passion for the seemingly insignificant details. Fierce passion in impulsiveness and change. Fierce passion for the relationships (of all sorts) that come and go from your life. Fierce passion in what you genuinely give so many fucks about at any point in time. This was part of the plan all along, only you didn't plan it. YOU let the journey happen before your eyes. YOU felt each and every experience. YOU lived with fierce passion. 

However...

Does it seem like this blog too is instinctual, somewhat spontaneous, and seemingly without a real plan?

Well, it absolutely is. Rude not to be.