Faffing my way through LIFE

Rock bottom- A state of mind As someone who very proudly has ADHD- attention deficit HYPERactive disorder- I am no stranger to really feeling the highs, lows, and everything in-between that makes up such an exciting life. I have had an incredibly fortunate adventure thus far, surrounded by wonderful people, places, and the freedom to choose where my road goes. However, there are many others who are not so fortunate, and have been through incidents that no one should have to live through. A close friend of mine fits this bracket. Recently we got onto the topic of rock bottom. We shared stories that were in no way comparable. We compared physical conditions, that were miles apart in reality.  B ut, what did seem to co-align…what did actually resonate on a similar frequency…was state of mind. The way in which the mind processes rock bottom. The simplicity in which it sees this place; a point when you cannot see out. Where the view has left your sight, and the horizon is long ...

I’m going to start this by saying that I have been incredibly fortunate in my life to have grown up privileged, to have had the choice of moving abroad (many times!), to have had a supportive and loving family, and to have met countless amounts of wonderful friends from all over the globe. I am writing this to pass no judgement, but more to challenge what I deem as a somewhat romanticised way of looking at life. I have spent the last 9.5 years away from where I grew up, moving from place to place, building new lives in each, experiencing, running. holding on. Trial and error.  I can assure you though, that none of this was “meant to happen”. My sporadic but exciting life thus far was not pre destined for me. I no longer believe that this journey I created for myself was part of some higher plan. There were no specific reasons for how it has all unfolded. “Everything happens for a reason” is a cop out. It’s an excuse. It’s a piece of advice given when there is little g...

Countless times I have been asked where home is. Where I consider home. Is it the country I was born in. Or where I grew up. Is it the city I feel most at ease in. The place where I have the strongest sense of belonging. Or is it where I am currently building a new life in.  None of these. Finally, I have well and truly realised this. Home too is constantly changing, evolving, growing, maturing, just as we are in ourselves. Much like our overall happiness. I believe that home does lie within, and has much to do with the extent in which we live in the present. Each place I have moved, my want and need to “feel” at home somewhere has added to the stress and anxiety of starting up life in a new place. These early and somewhat harsh judgements form in my mind, and dictate my belief in whether I belong, and therefore influence my perceived happiness. Quite often I have determined whether I see a future in my new life based on an impulsive judgement on how at home I feel. It h...

  ELIMINATING THE FAFF New Year, New You. Yet another saying/hashtag that, for want of a less graphic description, makes my stomach violently convulse. If I am being entirely truthful, I cannot remember the last time I had a thought about a new years resolution, let alone written down a lengthy list of them. Because, why should we wait until the start of a year to kick our asses into gear. Why must it be only that debaucherous night (or week) of indulgent celebrations around this time that leads us to this enlightened new head space. Where we can see everything with a fresh sense of clarity and drive. How is it that this starting of a new calendar can so strongly determine the successes in our lives.  Because humanity loves having something to latch onto. Something to hold us accountable. As I will always believe though. Each and every experience, including the shit, comes along with you for the wild ride. We are consistently evolving, improving, and becom...

#noregrets? To say that I would not change a thing in my somewhat sporadic life is..well..bullshit. BUT, to say that I have learnt a great deal from all of the madness is much more realistic.  It's human to regret. It's okay to look back and wish things had gone a little differently. It's completely normal to ponder on how life may have turned out had you have chosen another route. The beauty is that our lives now seem to offer multiple options at any given time. We are only ever one decision away from leading a completely different existence. And so often we can find ourselves at a crossroads where there is more than one trail of which we could embark on. And yet we are the the generation that seemingly cannot make decisions to save our lives. Funny that. We are presented with more options than ever, yet so struggle to come to a single decision due to FEAR OF MISSING OUT (FOMO if your hip like myself..) It is not reality to believe that we do not live with any sort of r...

Through the eyes of a millennial... This is the REALITY of moving around. The REALITY of balancing both holding on and letting go. The reality of how this life can AFFECT you. In both the positive, and slightly less glamorous ways. The millennial generation are a group of travellers. We take gap years, move from one spot to the next, and spend months away at a time ‘finding ourselves’. We live with a somewhat selfish sense of non attachment. It is not in our blood to sit still, it is not in our nature to stay content; We seem to constantly search for, and lust over a life that is a little more exciting, adventurous, and fulfilling than the one we are currently living in. Wow. That sounds incredibly negative. It’s not. Believe me. It’s seriously wonderful- the fact that we have the option to go somewhere else and live a whole new life. The fact that our overly excited brains are not allowing us to stay stagnant. We are exposed to people from different cultures. We ar...

Read on for fuller understanding of this photo... I will, however, warn you now. This blog is ANOTHER anecdote related to positive thinking. It is another god damn piece of writing by someone who now believes they can change their life through mindset. It IS another fucking blog on the power of your mind.  But through the recreational, and in this case, somewhat accidental use of MDMA. At Carnival in Notting Hill London.  And I do now genuinely believe I can change the course of my life through mindset.  By nature, I have a somewhat fiery temper, am overly dramatic, and have a tendency to react to situations before thinking rationally, if at all. Absolute headcase at the best of times.  So considering this, a little mindset shift need not be a terrible thing...and I endeavour it to be the way I shall live going forward. Especially as move #7 is on the horizon. To set the scene; Carnival is a celebration of London's Caribbean culture. The entirety o...